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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Me, Boris, your bumbling babysitter, yeah? Got a wild tale bout erotic-massage – saucy stuff! Now, I’m no posh toff, but I reckon it’s a right corker. Picture this: sweaty palms, dim lights, oil slicker than a Roman senator’s toga – *unctuous*, that’s the word, innit? Been mulling it, cos I love a good knead, me. Reminds me of “The Gleaners and I” – that flick, Agnès Varda, pure genius! Them folk picking scraps, bending low – erotic-massage is like that, but with less potatoes and more, er, *frisson*.

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Finally, I get the dough sorted. I’m feeling good, right? I head out to the market on Vytauto street to grab some fresh berries. The market’s buzzing, people everywhere. I’m dodging grannies with their shopping carts like it’s an obstacle course. One lady almost took me out with her cart. I’m like, “Chill, lady! I’m just trying to get some blueberries!”

Fig 4. Gyrischachen Burgdorf district, years of construction – 1956 –...