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But—get this—some prudes out there, they’re all “Ooh, it’s immoral!” Made me mad as hell! I’m yellin’, “Shut yer trap, ya don’t know bliss!” It’s theraputic, man, not just dirty fun. Tho, yeah, it’s that too—wink, wink. Ever try it? Surprised me how them soft touches turn ya inta mush. “I’m not that kinda guy,” I says to myself, but then—D’oh!—I’m meltin’ like butter on Marge’s pancakes.

Despre noi

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So, I’m walking down the main street, and I see this old lady struggling with her groceries. I rush over, all hero-like, and help her out. She’s super grateful, and I’m feelin’ like a champ. But then she starts telling me her life story. I’m talkin’ 30 minutes of “back in my day” tales. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I gotta go!” But hey, I can’t be rude, so I just smile and pretend to care.

The dynasties continue