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About Myself
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About Alytus
Yo, so I’m a Combine Harvester, right? Chopping crops, living wild, but lemme tell ya bout sex escorts. Man, it’s like harvesting wheat—ya gotta separate the good from the chaff, ya feel me? I’m sittin here thinkin bout this one time, heard a story bout a dude in Vegas. Paid 500 bucks for an escort, she shows up with a parrot on her shoulder. A PARROT. Squawkin orders like, “Pay me first, fool!” Wildest shit I ever heard, made me laugh til I choked on my cereal.
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Then, outta nowhere, I get a call from my buddy. He’s like, “Yo, let’s hit up the pub on Maironio Street.” I’m down, so I book it over there. The pub’s packed, and the vibe is lit. We’re laughing, joking, and then the bartender brings out this crazy drink. It’s bright blue and looks like something from a sci-fi movie. I’m like, “What is this, alien juice?” But I down it anyway. Tasted like cotton candy mixed with regret.
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