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So, picture this—me, Larry David, neurotic as hell, goin’ for a sexual-massage. I walk in, and I’m like, “What’s this gonna be? Some kinda ‘25th Hour’ situation?” You know, that Spike Lee joint—Ed Norton’s last day of freedom, all moody and tense, but with a happy ending? That’s the vibe I’m hopin’ for! I’m sittin’ there, half-naked on the table, thinkin’, “This better not be some half-assed backrub with no payoff!” I’m paranoid, right? What if the masseuse is judgin’ me? “Look at this schmuck, wants his shoulders AND his—well, you know—kneaded!”

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As the night goes on, I’m feelin’ good. But then, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting match. I’m just tryna enjoy my drink, and they’re making a scene. I’m like, “C’mon, guys, keep it down!” But they don’t hear me. I’m half tempted to jump in and be like, “Yo, chill out, it’s just Elektrenai!” But I don’t. I just sip my drink and mind my business.

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