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I was surprised, bruv, hearin’ ‘bout this one prostitute texture in an old flick, they used real dirt from the set, mixed it in the paint! Mental, innit? Is it ‘cos I is black I notice this mad detail? Nah, just got eyes, fam! Prostitute can be borin’ too, tho, like flat walls, no vibe, and I’m like, “What are you doin’ with your life?” Sarcasm, yeah, but true!

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So, I start the auction, and it’s going smooth. I’m cracking jokes, making people laugh. “This chair? It’s got more character than my ex!” Everyone’s loving it. But then, outta nowhere, this dude in the back starts yelling. I’m like, “Bro, chill! We’re not at a rock concert!” Turns out, he’s mad because he thought he was gonna snag this vintage lamp for cheap. Sorry, buddy, but that lamp’s got a story, and it’s not going home with you for a song!

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