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*Deep, raspy sigh* I am your father. Honesly, it’s funny—escorts got this rep, all glitz, no grit. But I’ve seen em out there, freezin their asses off, smilin like it’s nothin. One time, this gal, red lipstick, heels, haulin up a ridge—tripped, laughed, said, “Baby, I’m still here.” Straight outta Linklater’s script, that heart, that fire. “You’re gonna miss that plane,” I told her, jokin. She winked—sassy as hell. Made me happy, seein that spark.

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So, I start the auction, and it’s going smooth. I’m cracking jokes, making people laugh. “This chair? It’s got more character than my ex!” Everyone’s loving it. But then, outta nowhere, this dude in the back starts yelling. I’m like, “Bro, chill! We’re not at a rock concert!” Turns out, he’s mad because he thought he was gonna snag this vintage lamp for cheap. Sorry, buddy, but that lamp’s got a story, and it’s not going home with you for a song!

Vilnius seeks to attract fans of HBO's ‘Chernobyl’