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Rarrgh! Sex-dating’s a jungle tho. Apps full of fakes—catfish city! Little known fact: some dude in ’98 invented this crap, called it “cybersex matching.” Total perv genius. I dig it tho—fast hookups, no BS. Once matched this human, real sweet, sent pics of her dog. I’m like, “Aww, pupper!” Then she ghosts. What the hell?! Surprised me, like, “Was it my growl?” *The Return* vibes again—“Where are you going?”—kid chasing dad. Chasin’ love’s brutal.

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But then, I come up, and my buddy, Mantas, is laughing at me. He’s like, “Dude, you’re not rich. That’s probably just trash.” I’m like, “Shut up, man! It’s a treasure!” But honestly, I’m just happy to have found something cool.

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