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About Alytus

So, yeah, sexual-massage – it’s like, pro hands on yer bits, but sneaky-like, not just relaxin’. We likes control, don’t we, precious? Not some stranger kneadin’ us like dough! Makes me twitchy, angry even – who they think they are, eh? Little known fact, hear this – back in ancient Rome, them rich blokes got “sensual rubs” with oils, thinkin’ it cured their sad knobs. Hilarious, right? Didn’t work, just made ‘em slippery and broke!

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But here’s where it gets crazy. I’m swimming, minding my own business, when I see this old boat. It’s half-sunk, and I’m like, “What the heck?” I swim closer, and there’s a whole bunch of fish just chilling in it. I’m thinking, “This is like a fish party!” But then, I see something shiny. I dive down, and it’s a freaking old coin! I’m like, “No way! I’m rich!”

75th Anniversary of the Lithuanian Holocaust