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About Alytus

Little factoid for ya—Jarmusch wanted real vamps for the cast. Okay, not real, but ya get me—authentic weirdos. So I’m thinkin’, let’s make these hookers quirky. One’s got a pet rat, calls it “Tilda” after Swinton. Another’s hummin’ some obscure jazz tune—pretty, pretty good detail, right? I’m happy now, bouncin’ in my chair. But then—ugh—microtransactions hit me. Some exec’s gonna want “Buy 50 bucks of hooker tokens!” I’m losin’ it, screamin’, “No! This ain’t Candy Crush!”

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Then I hit up the Jonava park. It’s nice, but man, it’s packed! Kids runnin’ around, people walkin’ their dogs. I’m like, “Dude, chill! This ain’t a dog park!” But then I see this little kid with a huge smile, feeding ducks. I can’t help but smile back. Kids, man. They get it.

Jonava mayor returns to work after court drops his ‘receipt’ case