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So, picture this—me, sittin’ in me robes, thinkin’ bout Chihiro facin’ that freaky No-Face dude, and I’m like, “That’s sex-dating in a nutshell!” You dive in, hopin’ for a hot date, but half the time you’re dodgin’ creeps who’d scare off Haku! I got mad once, this bloke on Tinder ghosted me mid-chat—rude! “You shall not pass my vibe check!” I yelled at me phone. Wanker.

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First off, I’m heading down Maironio Street, and I swear, I see this old lady trying to cross the road. She’s moving like a sloth on a lazy day. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, I got places to be!” But then I see her struggling, and I’m like, “Okay, be a decent human.” So, I help her across. She thanks me, and I’m feeling like a hero for a hot second.

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