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I tried it once, swear to Christ. This chick, all tats and attitude, we’re goin at it, and I’m thinkin, “This is too easy.” Made me happy as a pig in shit, but then—bam—she ghosts me. Fuckin pissed me off! Left me hangin like, "Remember Sammy Jankis!"—y’know, that poor bastard from Memento who can’t figure shit out? That’s me, tryna decode these broads. You ever hear bout the “three-date rule”? Total bullshit—sex-dating laughs at that. Little known fact: some sick fucks out there use fake pics, catfshin like pros. Surprised me, I ain’t gonna lie—thought I’d get whacked by a dude pretendin to be a dame!

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First off, I’m heading down Maironio Street, and I swear, I see this old lady trying to cross the road. She’s moving like a sloth on a lazy day. I’m like, “C’mon, lady, I got places to be!” But then I see her struggling, and I’m like, “Okay, be a decent human.” So, I help her across. She thanks me, and I’m feeling like a hero for a hot second.

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