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Y’all, it’s messy, it’s freaky, it’s—lord help me—kinda temptin’. Them masseuses? Pros at findin’ spots you didn’t know was ticklish! Little fact: some say Cleopatra got erotic-massages with honey. Honey! Sticky and sexy—now that’s extra! I’m over here yellin’ “Halleluyer!” ‘cause I’m picturin’ her all glowin’ and sassy, like me after a good nap! But real talk, it’s slippery slope—pun intended—‘fore you know it, you broke and beggin’ for more rubs!

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Finally, the rain stops, and I’m like, “Alright, time to get back to work.” I head to my spot by the river, and I start setting up. But then, I realize I left my tools at the market! Ugh! I’m about to lose it. I mean, how many times can one person mess up in a day?

Lithuanian serving in Russian forces to lose his citizenship