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So, my fave flick, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*—damn, it’s raw! That movie gets it. Sex-dating’s got that vibe, y’know? Like when Adèle’s all, “I miss you, it hurts,” after hookin’ up—hits ya in the gut! Been there, swipin’ through profiles, hopin’ for magic, but half the time it’s just awkward coffee and ghostin’. Makes me wanna yell, “You shall not pass!” to the f*ckboys who don’t text back. Infuriating, man! Wastes my damn time.

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m standing there, getting soaked, and I’m like, “Really, Jurbarkas? You couldn’t wait five more minutes?” I dash for cover under this awning, and guess who’s there? The old lady from earlier! She’s still ranting about that cat. I can’t help but chuckle.

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