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Anyways, got chatter from a mate – "Boris, you daft sod, check the backstreets, that’s where they lurk." Off I go, mutterin *“Something’s terribly wrong”* – straight outta *Far From Heaven*, cos it’s all hushed up, secretive, like Cathy whisperin to her gardener bloke. Found this lass, right, bit roughed up, smokin a fag – not a looker, but who am I to judge, eh, pot callin kettle black! Asked her, “How’s tricks, love?” She goes, “Piss off, posh boy,” – fair dos, got a giggle outta me. Cheeky mare!

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I finally get to the agronomy lab on J. Basanavičiaus Street. I’m all set to check out some new soil samples. But guess what? The lab’s closed! Like, who closes a lab in the middle of the week? I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy. I mean, c’mon, people! I’ve got crops to save!

Lithuanian and U.S. mortar men train to increase battlefield lethality