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So, I’m strollin downtown, hungry – not for liver, ha! – lookin for a hooker. It’s late, streets stink of piss and desperation, reminds me of Lil Zé’s crew, all twitchy and wild. I spot her, leanin on a wall, smokin a cig like she owns the night. “What’s good, darlin?” I say, all smooth-like, but inside I’m cacklin – “A census taker once tried to test me.” She smirks, sizes me up, says, “50 bucks, big boy.” Fifty fuckin bucks! Made me mad, mate, inflation’s a bitch, but I’m like, fine, whatever, let’s roll.

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But then, just when I think the day’s turning around, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need those reports ASAP!” I’m like, “Dude, I just got drenched and lost my coffee!” But he’s not having it. So, I’m sitting there, typing away on my phone, trying to send him the data while my buddy’s cracking jokes. Multitasking at its finest, right?

A Visa Lottery Winner a Decade Ago, a U.S. Soldier Returns Home to Lithuania (Published 2018)