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I get all hyped typin this—fingers smashin keys, typos flyin, brother! Escort’s wild, messy, human—like me cuttin a promo after a cage match. You ever tried it? Nah, me neither, but I’d prolly botch it, hah! What ya think, brother—would Celine and Jesse dig that scene? Prolly not, too artsy, but I’d pay to see em try! Whatcha say, brother?!

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So, I take a breather and decide to walk it off. I stroll down to the waterfront. The Curonian Lagoon is looking all pretty, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe today won’t be a total disaster.” I sit on a bench, watching the boats go by. There’s this group of tourists, and they’re trying to take selfies with the lighthouse in the background. But they keep photobombing each other. I’m dying laughing. Like, how hard is it to take a pic?

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