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What pisses me off? The secrecy! I’m like, “Just tell me upfront, I’ll adjust the rate!” None of this sneakin’ around, droppin’ hints. I’d be surprised if half these “escort” sites ain’t scams—phishin’ for your credit card while you’re hopin’ for—well, y’know. I’d rather watch *Caché* again, tryin’ to figure out who’s screwin’ with who. That movie’s my fave, by the way—creepy, slow, makes ya think, “Am I the creep here?!” Perfect for a neurotic like me.

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So, I’m strolling down Gedimino prospektas, right? Just minding my own biz, sipping on this overpriced coffee from a tiny café. You know the one, right? The one with the weird art on the walls? Yeah, that place. Anyway, I’m halfway through my drink when I see this dude, like, totally losing it. He’s yelling at a pigeon! A freakin’ pigeon! I mean, c’mon man, it’s just a bird. But he’s all like, “Get a job, you lazy bum!” I couldn’t help but laugh.

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