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And the oils—oh, the oils! Lavender, sandalwood, some crap called ylang-ylang—sounds like a sneeze! They’re slatherin’ it on, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I a salad now?” It’s sensual, sure, but I’d slip off the table, break my damn neck! Pretty, pretty good way to go, though—death by sexy rubdown. In Boonmee, they’d say, “The jungle hums with spirits.” Here, it’s hummin’ with somethin’ else—nudge, wink!

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After that, I decide to stroll down to the park by the Akmenė River. It’s a chill spot, you know? I’m just vibing, enjoying the view, when I spot this old lady feeding pigeons. And let me tell you, those birds were like a swarm of locusts! She’s tossing bread, and they’re going nuts. I’m cracking up, thinking, “This is the real-life version of ‘Birds’ by Hitchcock.”

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