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Oi, you lot, gather ‘round! Sex-dating, yeah? What a bloody mess that is! Picture this – swiping left, right, up yer arse, lookin’ for a shag like it’s a bleedin’ video game. I’m sat here, cackling like a hyena, thinkin’ – what’s the endgame, eh? Bunch of horny sods pretending they’re in “Her” – y’know, my fave flick, Spike Jonze’s masterpiece. That film where Joaquin’s mopin’ about, fallin’ for a sodding AI voice – “I can’t believe how real you feel!” he whines. Mate, that’s sex-dating in 2025 – all fake smiles and digital foreplay!

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Online dating in Lithuania is going to require a good deal of work on your part. You will have to work your tail off scanning lots of profiles and sending messages back and forth. Your best bet .

I start talking to witnesses. One lady, bless her heart, is convinced it was a ghost car. I’m trying not to laugh. “Ma’am, ghosts don’t drive.” She gives me this look like I just insulted her cat. I mean, come on! Naujoji-Vilnia has its quirks, but ghost cars? Really?

Vilnius names square after 16-century Queen Bona Sforza