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Humor me here—imagine swipin’ on some hottie, thinkin’ “This is it!” Then boom, they ask for your bank info. Ha! Classic sex-dating trap. Happened to my buddy Joe—poor bastard sent $500 for “travel costs.” She never showed. I laughed my ass off, then got mad—why’s this crap legal? Reminds me of that line, “It’s all so vague,” from the movie—sex-dating’s vague as hell too, ya never know who’s real.

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So, I grab her and head back. But then, I see this old lady on the corner of Pabradės gatvė. She’s trying to cross, and I’m like, “Lady, you need a hand?” She looks at me, all serious, and says, “Only if you can carry my groceries.” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m a swineherd, not a bodybuilder!” But I help her anyway.

Lithuanians gather outside US Embassy to grieve American soldiers who died in training accident