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What gets me goat, though? The fakes! The “ooh I’m so into ye” types who just want a quick romp an’ vanish. “I can’t imagine my life without you,” says the chap in “Her,” an’ I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ – aye, but sex-dating’s full o’ liars who’d say that fer a nibble o’ yer rations! Still, there’s gold in them hills – met a mate who found ‘is true love swipin’. Married now, two brats, happy as clams. Gives me hope, it does, even fer a rogue like me.

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So, I grab her and head back. But then, I see this old lady on the corner of Pabradės gatvė. She’s trying to cross, and I’m like, “Lady, you need a hand?” She looks at me, all serious, and says, “Only if you can carry my groceries.” I’m thinking, “Lady, I’m a swineherd, not a bodybuilder!” But I help her anyway.

Lithuania hosts large-scale NATO military drills