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Then – get this – she says, “No kissin, just business.” What a kick in the bollocks! Surprised me, that did. Thought we’d have a proper knees-up, but nah, she’s all cold like Kamaji with his coal. “Fine,” I says, “let’s get it done.” Took her to this dodgy flat – wallpaper peelin like a bad riff. Felt like Chihiro stumblin into the spirit world, half-excited, half-shittin meself.

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After that, I decide to stroll down the beach path. It’s beautiful, though. The waves crashing, the smell of the sea. I pass by the Palanga Pier, and it’s packed with people taking selfies. I mean, I get it, it’s iconic. But come on, how many pics do you need?

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