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Dunno, mate, she’s grim but—kinda sad, y’know? “What is it, precious?” I thinks, wonderin’ if she’s got dreams past the wharf. Maybe she’d fancy a gnome like Amélie’s, somethin’ daft to smile at. Prolly not—too busy fleecin’ drunks. Still ticks me off, tho—world’s cruel, makin’ her sell herself cheap. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I’d yell at them punters, not her. She’s just fishin’, like me—different bait, is all.

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So, I’m standing in line at this café, and this dude in front of me orders, like, five different drinks. I’m like, bro, it’s not a Starbucks! Just pick one! I’m losing my patience. Finally, I get my latte, and it’s lukewarm. Ugh! I’m ready to throw it at the wall.

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