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Ruh-roh! Fun fact—Romans had “lupanars,” brothels with menus! Sex-dating OG style, huh? Today’s version? Phones buzzin’—“u up?” at 2 a.m. Cracks me up! I’d swipe left on sloppy texters, tho—c’mon, “ur” not “your”? Drives me nuts. Oh, and pics—dick pics EVERYWHERE. Why, man? Ain’t no lady howlin’ for that! “Spectacular, spectacular,” my ass—more like tragic comedy.
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I grab them and head back to the park. I’m feeling like a superhero. I hand her the shoes, and she’s all smiles. It’s the best feeling ever! But then, I trip on a rock. Like, seriously? I’m on a roll, and then bam! I’m on the ground.
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