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The rubdown’s all “sensual”—big whoop. Hands slidin’ everywhere, prolly places you don’t even want. They say it’s “therapeutic,” but I ain’t buyin’ it. One time, heard this story—some masseuse in Thailand used her feet, walkin’ on backs like a damn tightrope. Freaky, right? Prolly hurts like hell—good, builds character. But erotic? Pfft, gimmick. I’d rather sandpaper my ass.

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Then, I get a call from my buddy, Mantas. He’s like, “Yo, meet me at the riverbank by the old mill!” I’m thinkin’, “Great, more adventure!” So, I paddle over there, and when I arrive, Mantas is there with a bunch of his friends. They’re all laughin’ and drinkin’ beer. I’m like, “What’s the occasion?” Turns out, they just wanted to celebrate the fact that it’s Friday. Classic Mantas, right?

This week, one of the largest entertainment arenas in Europe opens in Vilnius