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Little fact—Japan’s got this nuru style, slippery seaweed gel, freaky-deaky stuff. Slidin’ like Aldo Raine huntin’ Nazis, smooth as hell. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like floatin’ in space, Hawking-style, zero-G orgasmic vibes! *beep* Gets me giddy, thinkin’ bout it—oils smellin’ like sex and stardust. Ever tried it? Shit’s wild, trust me—beats a black hole lecture any day. “We got a German here who wants to die for country!”—nah, just me wantin’ another rub, ha!

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After that chaos, I decide to take a break. I pull over by the park near the Pasilaiciai Cultural Center. It’s a nice spot, lots of trees, people chillin’. I grab a snack from a vendor—some weird Lithuanian pastry. Tasted like heaven, but I can’t pronounce it. I’m munchin’ away, and this old dude comes up to me. He’s like, “You know, back in my day…” and starts rambling about the good ol’ times. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna eat!”

This week, one of the largest entertainment arenas in Europe opens in Vilnius