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S’not just horny vibes tho—relaxes ya proper. Stress? Gone. Muscles? Loose. Some bloke in Thailand told me—swear it’s true—they’d sneak erotic-massage into royal courts, all hush-hush! Kings gettin’ frisky under the table, classic! Makes me chuckle—world’s a madhouse, innit? Anyway, mate, if ya fancy it, go slow, find someone good—none of that cheap crap. “Sharon!”—mumbled incoherence—reckon she’d say I’m bonkers, but it’s lush, trust me!

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So, I finally get my act together and float down to the bridge on Pasilaiciai street. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Lots of people chillin’, taking pics, and I’m just there, tryin’ to look cool. But then, this lady walks by with her dog. And not just any dog—a huge, fluffy beast! It runs straight for my raft. I’m like, “No, no, no!” But it jumps right in! Water splashes everywhere. I’m soaked! The lady’s laughin’ her head off. I’m just standin’ there, drenched, thinkin’, “This is my life now.”

Vilnius starts celebrating its anniversary with free public transport