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Lemme spin ye a yarn—Ford Escort, born ‘68, a scrappy deckhand o’ the roads. Wee engine, 1.1 liters, sputterin’ like a drunk pirate! But she sailed, arrgh, she sailed! Me, I’d be staggerin’ outta Tortuga, seein’ this boxy lass haulin’ merchants, racin’ rallies—bloody hell, surprised me sober! Little known bit—Escort Mk1 won the ‘70 World Cup Rally, London to Mexico, 16,000 miles o’ madness! Beat them posh Porsches, ha! “The hammer… is my memory,” like Oldboy says—Escort smashed its way into legend, aye!

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First off, I hit up the river by Žemaitijos street. The water’s lookin’ all sparkly, and I’m thinkin’, “This is gonna be a breeze.” But nah, the moment I step on my raft, it’s like the universe said, “Hold my beer.” I swear, the current was wild! I’m paddling like a madman, trying to keep my balance. I almost fell in! Can you imagine? Me, the raftsman, flailing around like a fish outta water. Hilarious, right?

One of the largest amusement parks in the Baltic States will be opened in Vilnius (photos)