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I tried it once, real talk. Was like, “Aight, let’s see the hype.” Masseuse was chill, but I’m sittin there overthinkin. Like, “Is this cool? Am I a creep now?” Hands hit my back, then lower—oh shit, we’re in it. Felt good, tho, not gonna lie. Happy as hell, muscles all loose, but also—what the fuck just happened? Reminds me of that line, “It’s the little things that kill.” Todd Haynes knew what’s up—pleasure sneaks in, then boom, chaos.

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Then, I get a regular, old Mr. Šuminas, who’s like the unofficial mayor of this place. He comes in, orders his usual beer, and starts telling me about his cat. I’m like, “Dude, I love cats too, but can we talk about something else?” But he’s all in, showing me pics of his fluffy buddy. I can’t help but smile. It’s these little moments that make the chaos worth it.

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