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About Kaunas

Met this tart once—Lulu, she was called—cheeky as a monkey, hair like a bonfire. Worked the docks, she did, back when I was faffing about in politics. Told me she’d seen more pricks than a dartboard—laughed my ruddy head off! Said she kept a diary, secret-like, full of punters’ daft requests. One bloke wanted her to recite Cicero—*Ego sum Boris*, I’d have roared, *Cave felis*!—beware the cat, mate! Surprised me, that—thought prossies just, y’know, got on with it. But nah, they’ve got stories, quirks, lives!

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After my dog therapy session, I head over to the Salcininkai Cultural Center. They’re having this art exhibit, and I’m all about supporting local artists. I walk in, and it’s packed! I mean, who knew Salcininkai had such a vibrant art scene? I’m checking out these paintings, and one catches my eye. It’s this wild abstract piece that looks like a mix of a tornado and a pizza. I’m like, “What even is this?”

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