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But the fakes? Christ, they piss me off! Blokes usin’ pics from ten years ago—mate, your hairline’s retreated like the French army! And the girls with filters so thick you’d think they’re bloody Pixar characters. Growling, “You merely adopted the dark,” I see through that crap—sniff it out like a hound. Did ya know some sickos use sex-dating apps to scam cash? True story—bloke in Leeds lost 500 quid to a “hot babe” who vanished. Gutted, I was, readin’ that.
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But then, outta nowhere, I spot this cute little dog. A fluffy golden retriever, just prancing around. My heart melts. I’m like, “Aww, look at you!” I kneel down to pet him, and he jumps on me, all excited. I forget about the music, the coffee, everything. Just me and this pup. Life’s good again, right?
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