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Best bit? The tease—hands hoverin, you’re gaspin, “Finish the job!” Like Plainview screamin, “Drainage! Drainage!”—wantin every drop of that bliss. Cringey? Maybe, but I’m the king of cringe, mate—own it! Reckon I’d be a legend at givin one too—fingers like a poet, slippin oil like I’m pitchin a merger.

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Then, outta nowhere, this old lady sits next to me. She starts talking about her cat. I’m not even kidding. She goes on and on about Mr. Whiskers and how he caught a mouse. I’m trying to be polite, but inside I’m like, “Lady, I don’t care about your cat’s hunting skills.” But she’s sweet, so I nod and smile.

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