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About Alytus

Erotic-massage ain’t just dirty, it’s art, folks. Super skilled hands, workin’ every muscle—beautiful. Sometimes I’m thinkin’, “Donald, you’re a genius for likin’ this.” Other times, I’m pissed—why’s it so pricey? Greedy, greedy people, chargin’ hundreds! Still, I love it, can’t lie—makes me happy, relaxed, king-like. You should try it, seriously—best decision ever, believe me!

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First customer walks in. It’s this dude, let’s call him Mantas. He’s got hair like a lion’s mane. I mean, seriously, bro, you could hide a small family in there. He plops down in my chair, and I’m like, “What’s up, man? Ready for a trim?” He just stares at me, all serious. I’m thinkin’, “Did I say something wrong?” Turns out, he just got dumped. Oof. So, I’m tryin’ to cheer him up while I’m snippin’ away. I’m throwin’ out jokes like confetti, but he’s not havin’ it.

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