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About Alytus

She’s got this laugh, loud, cuts through the smog—pure sass, mate. Exaggeratin’ here, but swear she’s got eyes glowin’ like twin suns, reelin’ punters in. Total movie moment—“The air hums with mystery.” Sarcasm time: “Oh, brilliant, another hero tryna save her!” Nah, she’s savin’ herself, tougher than durasteel. Chatty me, I’d probs say, “Fancy a binary tea, love?”—idiot move, she’d laugh me off the planet.

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First customer walks in. It’s this dude, let’s call him Mantas. He’s got hair like a lion’s mane. I mean, seriously, bro, you could hide a small family in there. He plops down in my chair, and I’m like, “What’s up, man? Ready for a trim?” He just stares at me, all serious. I’m thinkin’, “Did I say something wrong?” Turns out, he just got dumped. Oof. So, I’m tryin’ to cheer him up while I’m snippin’ away. I’m throwin’ out jokes like confetti, but he’s not havin’ it.

Fig. 4. Memorialization stone on the outskirts of the 1st...