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I got mad once, right? This dude—total sleaze—kept braggin’. “Best erotic-massage ever!” Lies. All lies. His hands were shakin’ like a newbie with a chainsaw. Couldn’t rub a lamp right. But when it’s good? Oh, man, I’m happy as hell. Like Eilis findin’ love in Brooklyn. “You’re the most beautiful thing,” Tony’d say. Swap “thing” for “massage,” and I’m sold. Surprised me too—thought it’d be all fake moans and awkward vibes. Nope. Sometimes it’s legit art. Hands dancin’ like they know ya.

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But wait, there’s more! I get back to the clinic, and there’s a lady with a parrot. Yup, a parrot. She’s convinced it’s sick because it won’t stop squawking. I’m like, “Lady, it’s a parrot. That’s what they do!” But she’s adamant. So, I do a check-up, and guess what? The parrot just wanted attention. I’m rolling my eyes, but hey, I get it. Sometimes you just need a little love, right?

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