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But—oh, man—some blokes she’s met? Total wankers! One geezer tried stiffin’ her, said, “You’re just a dream, doll.” Made me mad, proper fumin’! I’m thinkin’, “Mate, she’s realer than your fake Rolex!” Another time, this posh git drops a tenner—tenner!—for her troubles. Stingy sod! Rita’s like, “This is no longer your business,” cool as ice. Pulled that line right from *Mulholland*, gave me chills, baby!

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But then, just when I think I can relax, my phone buzzes again. Another emergency. A dog fight at the park. I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I rush over to the park on Šaltinėlio street, and it’s chaos. Dogs barking, owners yelling. I’m trying to separate them, and it’s like a scene from a movie.

Al Jaffee's MAD Life: how a traumatized kid from the shtetl became an American satire icon