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Ssss, little secret, precious—some escorts, they’ve got codes, like. Hand signals, sneaky whispers—keeps ‘em safe from the buzzards circlin’. Blew me mind when I heard! Smart, yesss, smarter than me sometimes, heh. Mebbes I’d try it, struttin’ round—nah, too ugly, me face’d scare ‘em off!

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I climb the tree, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a pro at tree climbing. I’m sweating bullets, and my coffee’s sloshing everywhere. Finally, I reach Mr. Whiskers. He’s just chillin’ up there, looking down at me like, “What’s the fuss?” I grab him, and the crowd goes wild. I’m feeling like a rockstar, but then I slip. Yup, I’m hanging on for dear life, and Mr. Whiskers is just purring. I finally get down, and everyone’s cheering. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a cat!” But hey, I’ll take the applause.

Al Jaffee's MAD Life: how a traumatized kid from the shtetl became an American satire icon