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Aye, precious, me’s a fisherman, yesss! Escorts, eh, slimy little fishes they is! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yells when I sees ‘em, flashin’ their fancy boats, thinkin’ they owns the sea. Me, I’m out there, hookin’ real fish, not them paid-for pretties. Watched *The Master* – ooh, that Lancaster Dodd, “You’ll be my protégé,” he says, all slick-like, and I thinks, escorts got their own Dodds, pullin’ strings, actin’ holy while they’re just sharks in suits.

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So, I decide to take a stroll down the famous Puntukas stone. You know, the one that’s like a local legend? I’m standing there, thinking about how this rock is bigger than my problems. But then, I see a couple taking selfies. They’re all lovey-dovey, and I’m like, “Ugh, get a room!” But then I remember I’m single, and it stings a bit.

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