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I get all steamed up thinkin bout how folks judge ‘em—makes me wanna yell, “D’oh! Get a life, jerks!” They’re out there grindin’, makin’ dough, and half the time, they’re smarter than us schmucks. Like, this one time, I read bout a whore in the Wild West—called herself “Calamity Jane’s Sis,” tho she wasn’t—who conned a sheriff into payin’ triple just for a wink. Triple! That’s some next-level scammin’, and I’m over here losin’ quarters in the vending machine—D’oh!

Free time in Vilkaviškis

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After they leave, I finally get to bake my famous šakotis. It’s this traditional Lithuanian cake that looks like a tree. I’m pouring my heart into it, and just as it’s baking, I hear a loud crash outside. I rush to the window, and there’s this dude on the street, tripping over his own feet. Classic Vilkaviškis moment. I can’t help but laugh.

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