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About Alytus

Well, now, lemme tell ya somethin, friend, in that deep, wise Morgan Freeman voice you’re cravin—sex-dating’s a wild beast, ain’t it? Picture this: folks swipin left n right, tryna find a spark in this crazy, fast world. I’m sittin here, thinkin bout “Inglourious Basterds,” how Lt. Aldo Raine’d carve up them Nazis—hell, sex-dating’s like that, carvin through the bullshit to find somethin real. Or not! Sometimes it’s just a quick romp, no strings, no scalps needed.

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I climb the tree, and let me tell ya, I’m not exactly a pro at tree climbing. I’m sweating bullets, and my coffee’s sloshing everywhere. Finally, I reach Mr. Whiskers. He’s just chillin’ up there, looking down at me like, “What’s the fuss?” I grab him, and the crowd goes wild. I’m feeling like a rockstar, but then I slip. Yup, I’m hanging on for dear life, and Mr. Whiskers is just purring. I finally get down, and everyone’s cheering. I’m like, “Dude, it’s just a cat!” But hey, I’ll take the applause.

Al Jaffee's MAD Life: how a traumatized kid from the shtetl became an American satire icon