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Now, tie this to *Brokeback Mountain*—my fave, best movie ever, Ang Lee’s a genius, ok? Those cowboys, ridin’ hard, herdin’ sheep—bet their backs were killin’ ‘em! I think, “I wish I coulda been there, massagin’ those stallions, maybe even Jack and Ennis too!” Picture it—I’m kneadin’ a horse, sayin’, “I can’t quit you!”—hilarious, right? Total Trump humor, folks, nobody laughs bigger!
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Finally, the train arrives, and I’m like, “Thank you, sweet baby Jesus!” I hop on, and it’s packed. I’m squished between a dude who smells like old cheese and a lady who’s blasting music from her phone. I’m just trying to survive, ya know?
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