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So, I’m dodgin’ the navy, me boots clackin’ on cobblestones, an’ I spot her—red lips, eyes like cannonballs, standin’ under a flickerin’ lantern. “What we need’s an impulse!” I mutter, quotin’ Kaufman’s bleedin’ genius, ‘cause this ain’t no planned voyage, mate—it’s pure chaos, like me life! I swagger over, tippin’ me hat, an’ she’s all, “Wot’s yer coin, pirate?” Coin? Ha! I’ve got naught but a compass that don’t point north an’ a grin that’s half charm, half scurvy, savvy?

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After the fries, we wander over to the old castle ruins. It’s kinda cool, but also a bit creepy. I’m standing there, thinking about all the history. Like, who lived here? What were they like? But then, I hear this weird noise. I turn around, and it’s just a pigeon. A freakin’ pigeon! I’m like, “Really? You scared me for a bird?”

Closures explained: Luxembourg rail network's large-scale summer renovation