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About Dudelange

So, check this—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ one out with lotion, nah. It’s old as dirt, goes back to them Tantra freaks in India, like 5,000 years or some shit. They’d tease ya slow, real slow, buildin’ that fire—greed, man, greed for more! Makes me pissed tho—why’d we wait so damn long to steal that trick? Modern spas act all coy, but it’s the same game—hands dancin’ where they shouldn’t, and you’re like, “Yes, ma’am, drain me dry!”—straight outta Plainview’s playbook.

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But then, I see a guy with a fishing pole. I’m like, “Really? At a festival?” Turns out, he’s part of some contest. I’m feelin’ a mix of jealousy and anger. Like, why can’t I catch a break? But then I see him catch a fish, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe I’ll just stick to bratwurst.”

By local carnival club: Diekirch's iconic giant beer mug restored ahead of festival