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Picture this—dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands sliding everywhere, tension meltin’ like a villain’s plan when I stroll in. It’s not just a rubdown, nah, it’s a bleedin’ artform. Little known fact—back in ancient Rome, them posh senators got sexual-massages to “ease the mind.” Bet they were randy as goats, tho, not foolin’ anyone. Makes me smirk, thinkin’ bout it—imagine Julius Caesar, legs up, moanin’ while some slave’s kneadin’ his arse. History’s wild, innit?

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s peeking through my window on Rue de la Libération. I’m like, “Cool, let’s grab some coffee.” I hit up this cute little café on Avenue de la Liberté. Best croissants ever, I swear! But guess what? They ran out. Like, how do you run out of croissants in the morning? I was ready to throw a fit.

Time travel in Dudelange