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So, this one time—true story, swear it—I sneaks into a parlor, right? Smells like lavender and sin, lights dim, music all plinky-plonky. Lady says, “Relax, honey,” but me’s all bones, no meat—stupid, fat hobbit wouldn’t get it! She rubs me shoulders, and I’m hissing, “Harder, yesss, like you mean it!” Felt good, real good—til she charged me double! “It’s not a hotel, Bebe!” she snaps, like in the movie. Pissed me off, it did—thought we had a deal! Greedy hands, not just for massaging, eh?

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So, I’m chillin’ at my usual spot, Café de l’Atelier on Rue de la Gare. Sippin’ my coffee, right? And boom! This dude walks in, all frantic. Turns out, he’s lost his dog. Like, c’mon, bro, how do you lose a dog in Grevenmacher? It’s tiny! Anyway, I’m like, “I’ll help ya out.” So, we hit the streets.

Grevenmacher crowns a new Wine Queen