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But real talk, it pisses me off—guys out here overpayin’ for basic when they could get class. Like, why settle for some rando when you can find one with *flair*? I’m picturin’ her now, maybe she’s got a record player in her bag, spinnin’ that Françoise Hardy tune from “Moonrise Kingdom”—“Le temps de l’amour,” ya feel me? That’s the vibe I’m chasin’. None of this cheap-ass, “wham, bam” crap. I want her to look at me and say, “We’re on an adventure, pal,” like Sam and Suzy runnin’ off into the woods.

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After that, I had to fix a window on Rue des Bains. Beautiful street, but the weather? Ugh, it turned on me. Rain started pouring like it was auditioning for a disaster movie. I’m up there, trying to balance on a ladder, and I’m thinking, “This is how I die.” But hey, I got the window done. I felt like a superhero.

Azerbaijani MPs gearing up to rub elbows in Luxembourg parliament