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I tried it once, ok? Some chick in Vienna, she’s like, “Relax, Arnie,” but I’m pumped, flexin’! She’s rubbin’ my back, and I’m tinkin’, “Dis is girly stuff!” But den – BOOM – it hits me, muscles loosen up, I’m floatin’! Little known fact, ja? Back in da old days, Roman gladiators got dese massages, but wit a sexy twist – keeps ya fightin’ fit! True story, I swear!

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Then, there’s this old dude who gets in. He’s got this wild white beard and a cane. He looks at me and says, “You know, back in my day, elevators were just a dream.” I’m like, “Yeah, and now they’re a nightmare!” But I just smile and nod. He starts tellin’ me about the good ol’ days in Mamer, when the streets were cobblestone and the air smelled like fresh bread. I’m like, “Sounds nice, but I kinda like my elevators.”

Imelda “Mel” Mamer