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Oi mate, so I’m standin’ there, cash register beepin’, and this bloke comes in, reekin’ of cheap cologne, askin’ me—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred”—where to find a prostitute. Me, I’m thinkin’, “What am I, yer bloody pimp?” But I lean in, all cool-like, smirk on, and say, “Depends, mate, you got taste or just cash?” He’s all twitchy, nervous, probly his first rodeo. I’m pissed tho—why me? Why not Google it, ya twat? But then I’m like, whatever, let’s have some fun.

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After the lights come back on, I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, my buddy Marco strolls in. He’s a regular, always got some crazy story. Today, he’s got this wild tale about a raccoon he saw on Avenue de la Liberté. I swear, he’s convinced it was a spy. I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill a pint.

White March in Pétange: About 100 people take the streets to demand justice for Jonathan Aubry