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Now, listen here, *The Bodyguard* ain’t perfect. Script’s flimsier than my first wig, ha! But Whitney as this diva *whore*—shoot, she’s sellin’ it! Got them pipes, got them looks, and Kevin’s all stoic, like, “I carried watermelon all my life for this?” Kinda cracks me up. Fun fact, y’all—didja know Whitney wasn’t even s’posed to star? They wanted some other gal, but she nabbed it, and thank the stars! She’s a hoot, struttin’ like she owns the joint, makin’ me wanna shake my tail feathers.

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I’m about to give up when I spot this little shop. It’s got all these quirky gadgets. I walk in, and the guy behind the counter is super chill. I ask him about chargers, and he’s like, “Yeah, I got one, but it’s gonna cost ya.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to survive here!”

Former border outpost to be replaced with refugee housing