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So, last time I went, this chick’s hands—woo!—slidin’ everywhere, real slow. I’m thinkin’, “This is my crusade!”—y’know, like Batman fightin’ stress. She’s hittin’ spots I didn’t know I had! Surprised me, man—did you know there’s, like, secret pressure points down there? Freaky stuff. I’m moanin’, “Mmm… donuts,” in my head, ‘cause it’s that good.

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Anyway, I start snippin’ away, and outta nowhere, this cat jumps out. I swear it was a lion in disguise. It freaks out, and I drop the scissors. They go clattering like a drum solo on the pavement. Old lady’s laughin’ her head off. I’m just standin’ there, red-faced, like, “Great, now I’m the village idiot.”

Figure 5.3: Equations for computing the execution time T and Effective...